[AnonymousRetard]

The Bible O’ Ross
Chapter 1: Birth
                It was a hot summer day in the western McDonalds. Jake was 8 months pregnant with her baby boy, Ross. He was going to be the little Jesus of McDonaldland. Jake had got the Mc double and was inhaling it like there was no tomorrow, she suddenly felt something warm around her bum. Her water was breaking. Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. The baby was a month early. It would be ugly. RyAn walked over to her, “OH MY GOD”, he exclaimed. His beautiful new baby, Ross, was on the way. They lied Jake down on the table and the head of Ross, popped out.
Once the baby was out the manager of McDonalds walked out with a nine mil, and popped a cap in Jake’s ass. Her eyes rolled in her head. RyAn cried,” NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.” RyAn picked up the tommy gun next to him.
                “DIE BITCH”, he cried as he fired blindly. A loud thump filled the air. Turtle1311 was dead.
                Suddenly an angel named Rusty Nail flew from the skies, fat as a hippo.
                “I will resurrect you my daughter named Jake,” he mumbled through a mouthful of a big mac, “you will be born anew. Resurrect and become one of us.” Suddenly everyone started chanting, One of us, one of us, one of us. Jake slowly sat up with the bullet still in her ass, she took the Tommy gun from RyAn, and screamed, “DIE BITCH.” As she busted caps in Turtle’s dead ass. She picked up her baby and carried her out of the McDonalds.
               
Jake was pissed. She brought her new baby all the way to Syria to find ISIS. They flew her back on a private trip to McDonaldland. They were 700 miles from there. Little did she know it would be a one way flight. The uranium in the back of the plane weighed them down. They finally flew into McDonaldland. They flew straight into the McDonalds they had Ross in. They were all screaming Aluakbar, as the plane quickly ascended toward McDonalds. Jake screamed as her and her Ross heard the slow ticking of the bomb.
BOOM BITCH
 
 
Chapter 2: Childhood
                Jake had died in the plane “accident”, and Ross and RyAn were on their own. Not even the fat angel Rusty Nail could save Jake. Ross and RyAn took refuge in a newly built condo. Their condo was built in the Hollywood Hills. They were on the run from the Mexican drug dealer, Gomora. People were running down the street. Then RyAn saw a particularly strange horse walk down the street holding a large Tec-9 in his mouth. It was Gomora! But he had someone strange following today. No it couldn’t be, ratikis!!!!
                “ROSS” Yelled RyAn. “Grab my Coke and let’s go.” Ross walked over with a small package of what his father called “the good stuff” and handed it to RyAn. RyAn looked in the street one last time and saw the lovely Jake standing in the sidewalk. Gomora and ratikis broke the door in and shot up the house. RyAn and Ross had already jumped over the ledge and ran toward Jake. They then notice a little boy standing next to Jake. It was Ace.
                Ace was Ross’s age and was wearing his usual dress shirt and top hat.
                “Hi” said Ross excitedly. Then Ace ran to Ross and hugged him. Jake was making out with RyAn very sloppily and loudly. RyAn moved his hand down and squeezed Jake’s tender ass.

[SilverMight]

what the fuck

[Alaskan Butter]

[AnonymousRetard]

             

[Turtle1311]

I dont even know either